While many people believe women prefer men who are rich, powerful, or both, this expectation doesn’t always live up to reality. As a financial advisor, I’ve noticed time and time again what both men and women look for in a partner — and its not nearly as sexy or out-of-reach as most people think.
When it comes to finances, most women (and men) want something simple — a partner who loves them who also has their act together. No billion-dollar trust fund and no Ferrari. Just someone with a job who has some inkling as to how their financial life should be.
7 Huge Financial Turnoffs Women Hate
That’s why, if you’re a guy not making any headway with the ladies, you should probably take a close look at your finances and yourself. It’s possible you’re setting off a ton of financial red flags and scaring the good girls away. Plus, you should probably get your money straight anyway, right?
If you don’t know what scares women financially, then that’s probably a good indicator that you need to educate yourself sooner rather than later.
Based on what I’ve noticed as a financial planner, here are some financial turn-offs that send women running for the hills:
#1: Not Knowing How Much Debt You Have
Considering the average college graduate left school with more than $39,000 in student loan debt in 2017, most guys from the younger generation have at least some debt. The rest of us have car loans, business loans, home loans, or some combination of debts we’re trying to handle.
The thing is, so do women. The problem comes in when you literally have no clue how much you owe or to whom. Why? Because, not knowing how much you owe tells any woman who asks that you have zero plans to pay your debt off.
While having some debt is normal these days, not having a plan to deal with it is always a bad sign. On the flip side, having a debt payoff plan in place shows you’re thoughtful and that you truly care about your future.
#2: Not Having a Clue About Investing
If you’re dating a woman who asks whether you invest in a taxable account on top of your 401(k) and you don’t even know what she’s talking about, it’s time to break out the books and brush up on some basic financial topics.
Fact: Women who are financially-minded don’t want to grow old with you if you can’t even be bothered to save for retirement.
#3: Not Showing Financial Restraint
While a lot of guys believe earning a big income is the best way to grow wealth, this couldn’t be further from the truth. The reality is, earning a big paycheck isn’t very attractive if you spend every cent you earn or rack up debt buying things you can’t really afford.
That’s why some women are scared off if they see you spending money all over the place without a care in the world. You may have the potential to be a good provider, but you’re not going to take care of anyone if you’re always broke.
#4: Being “Fake Rich”
Maybe you have a flashy car with an equally huge car loan to match. Or perhaps you have a luxurious home with all the finer things in life but a balance of zero in your bank account. In either case, you’re being “fake rich” — a type of wealth that is heavy on material possessions but light on the cash to pay for them.
A nice car or home might attract women at first, but the ones who would make the best life partners would probably prefer your finances to have more substance. And, let’s be honest; they would probably prefer a few more zeroes in your bank account in place of that $40,000 car loan or giant house payment.
#5: Not Being Generous Where It Counts
Being fake rich is bad enough, but what about a guy who is never generous? For many ladies, there is nothing worse than a man who doesn’t tip well or has approximately zero causes he cares about.
No matter what you believe, believe this: If you’re generous with charities and people who serve you, ladies will take note. If you’re not, they will never forget.
#6: Not Having Any Financial Goals
Never underestimate the alluring power of goals — even if you haven’t quite reached them. Like it or not, both men and women prefer partners who are always shooting for greater and greater heights.
Maybe you have simple goals like retiring by a certain age or paying your home off early. Or perhaps you’re shooting for the moon and want to become a millionaire by age 40 or own a fully-staffed yacht you can use to sail the world. Whatever your dreams are, having goals will make you infinitely more attractive to women you want to date.
#7: Relying on Others a Little Too Much
Finally, don’t forget that living with your parents into adulthood is a huge red flag for women or men who are living on their own. But, so is needing family members to co-sign on your car loan or apartment or having the need to constantly borrow money. If a woman finds out your finances are reliant on someone supporting you in some way, you will instantly lose their respect.
And, once you lose a woman’s respect, you may never get it back.